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We've been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered several hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been often taken by surprise by others. Her husband left her, which came as an unexpected event. Several of close acquaintances drifted away at that point, since they had been only interested in him. It shocked her deeply. She made greater energy toward our bond, likely realised better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Throughout this period, several close to her have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we've both left the workforce and are seeing each other more, however, I feel my role in our friendship is to listen. I open topics of conversation and she changes them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she holds unyielding views. My effort is to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She's been arranging a holiday abroad I know well repeatedly and resided in for a while. My intention was to offer insights, yet it was met with resistance. She purely just desired me to confirm her plans. I've just ended a month in that place and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to act as a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly understand the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, I find myself in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, yet this is rarely a smooth outcome we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of working things out takes courage and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially is to state how things go during your discussions. This needs to be as factual as possible and essentially exactly what occurs. Next is to express how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument on this point. What you feel belong to you, after all. Finally is to question how you are both will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, so you need to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

Your friend may dismiss everything, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they have a story regarding their experiences they cannot abandon because their very survival relies on it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge because there's no thoroughfare here, just dead ends. But she may start out like this and then think about what you've said. If you don't achieve a resolution, it provides satisfaction that you've been honest with her.